Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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