I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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