Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You may now shotgun with the bride
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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