Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
