What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
