Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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