It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
