i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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