Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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