she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fling myself into the sun
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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