is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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