Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
