dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
