bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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