Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
