Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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