i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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