Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
