You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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