There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
