Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
