Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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