Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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