the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They have beer where we have blood.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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