just come out here and I will go home with you...
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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