...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Randomize
