My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
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Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
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We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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