Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
