I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
