Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
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I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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