Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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