The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize