come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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