I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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