Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Betty ford says i'm here all night
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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