they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize