If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
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