I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
