thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
