talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Randomize
