hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
