It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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