Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
