if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
