shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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