I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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