I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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