At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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