having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
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Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
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I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize