Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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