I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
