Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize