but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Randomize
