I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
