Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
