how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
