well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
